critique/ improve sales letter

Hello I have a small, simple job for a copywriter. I have written an 8 page salesletter for a product i sell. I am a direct marketer, i'm not a pro copywriter but have been studying it for a while and do a little bit. I would like someone to have a look at my salesletter and critique/suggest improvements, deletions, alterations etc. You must supply the reasons why the suggested changes should be made and supply specific examples. eg: change this sentence '.....................' to '.........................' because of '...............' The object of this is to improve the letter with the one result being-of course- to increase sales. The bidder must be a very experienced 'direct response' copywriter and supply 2 or 3 succesful examples of salesletters they have written with their bid price. Of course strict confidentiality is expected. Thanks Wayne ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-run condition, as follows (depending on the nature of the deliverables): a) For web sites or other server-side deliverables intended to only ever exist in one place in the Buyer's environment--Deliverables must be installed by the Seller in ready-to-run condition in the Buyer's environment. b) For all others including desktop software or software the buyer intends to distribute: A software installation package that will install the software in ready-to-run condition on the platform(s) specified in this bid request. 3) All deliverables will be considered "work made for hire" under U.S. Copyright law. Buyer will receive exclusive and complete copyrights to all work purchased. (No GPL, GNU, 3rd party components, etc. unless all copyright ramifications are explained AND AGREED TO by the buyer on the site per the coder's Seller Legal Agreement). ## Platform MSword, pdf