HI I am a professional script reader for a production company, I also write for Itcher Magazine. I have written 2 screenplays, 2 pilots, a novel and a children's book. I deal with film executives on a daily basis and I know what they are looking for in a screenplay. If your goal is to option it or sell it, then I can help. I will be happy to rewrite it, use natural dialogue and make sure the structure is correct.
Your story needs to also be compelling, original and have a clear hook to be interesting.
I can screen shot all my recent coverage reviews from another site if you contact me. (5 out of 5 stars) Of if you want a sample of my detailed notes, I am happy to provide that as well.
Thanks
Ami