Writer Wanted for Minecraft Jokes

We need 300 Minecraft jokes that revolves around the popular computer game Minecraft. This will be a story in a diary format that takes place within the virtual world of Minecraft. WRITER MUST BE EXPERIENCED IN MINECRAFT AND CREATIVE WRITING. I am looking for a creative minecraft enthusiast with creative writing skillls. I am in need of a series of these types of Minecraft jokes, diaries and stories. The content should include certain key characters from the Minecraft universe :Steve, Herobrine, Creeper, Enderman, or others such as villagers, cats, dogs etc. There will be lots of work for the successful candidate. You will be paid on completion of each story. This is REALLY IMPORTANT!! WE DO NOT ALLOW PLAGIARISM! You can't just copy content from internet and paste as your work. We will check for your work, all materials must be original and unique content. If your work is found to be plagiarized, we will report to proper authorities and we will NOT pay for it! A signed contract stating that this is a WORK FOR HIRE creation that you will own NO rights to and that your name will appear nowhere on or within and that I will own all rights to including resell and distribution rights. Again, this will be a purely fictional story/diaries/jokes (not a Players' Guides) and will be geared towards young children (say 9-12). We would like to have these diaries of any of the Minecraft characters. An example will be: -the background story and information of herobrine (how he came into the game, relatives and how he died) -who he is and if he is real -story-like recollections of Herobrine spottings from either yourself or fellow gamers -tips on how to catch/see Herobrine in gameplay If you are interest, please reply with "Minecraft Jokes" in the first line. To give me an idea of your funny writing skills (and so I can evaluate your suitability for this job against the other applicants), please give me 3-5 funny Minecraft jokes that would make my kids laugh out loud ;o) See our attached file for examples. PS: - Experience playing/writing about the Minecraft game is required. - Experience writing fiction is required. - Budget is for 300 jokes, rate will be discussed upon your experience. Recruiting manager